I Have A Confession To Make
by Debbie Sheppard
I have a confession to make. I don’t always have a “daily quiet time” with God, or at least not what one calls the “traditional daily quiet time”. I used to try and get up early before work to have a quite time, but I would fall asleep again or forget what I had read. So, I tried the next best thing, a quiet time at night. Same result. I might be able to finish the Bible reading, but would fall asleep during the prayer. Have you ever awakened to the heavy pins and needles pain in your hands as they have fallen asleep while folded in prayer? It took me awhile to pry my hands apart, and while I was shaking the sleep from them, I was thinking to myself, “This isn’t working.” My so called quiet times where becoming more of a chore time for me, another item to check off my “to do” list, and I was starting to feel guilty. “Why is this so hard for me, Lord? What’s wrong with me? Am I not supposed to do this? Everyone else I know does this.” Don’t get me wrong. I admire and respect my friends who have chosen to spend time with God this way. It worked for them; it just wasn’t working for me.
One day I went for a walk alone, and as I walked I prayed. I asked God to show me things. “Lord, show me that you love me. Lord, show me why I’m me. Please show me something of yourself on this walk today.” Guess what? The Lord did. As I walked, I started paying close attention to my surroundings, the trees, plants, flowers, birds. Although many were from the same species, they were different. No two flowers, birds, etc. were the same. I got the most amazing revelation. It’s as if the Lord was saying to me:
“Debbie, you are one of My children and you are just as unique and different as your own two children are, as well as the children that you have worked with through the years. Do your own children respond in the same way to the same teachings and disciplines that you give them? No, they do not react or think the same way. Each one is as different as night and day, and have you not found what works best for each of them? Debbie, the same is true for My children. What works for one, may not work for another. I desire to be close and intimate with you. I care about you and everything that goes on in your life. I want to spend time with you and I want you to spend time with me, but not out of fear, obligation, or guilt. Has it not occurred to you that you can invite me to spend time with you at anytime?”
I came away from that walk with such insight and a sense of freedom. I came home wanting to shout, sing, and praise my heavenly Father. I wanted to hug His neck. I’m different, because He made me that way. It doesn’t matter if it’s morning, noon, or night, He just likes spending time with me because I’m me and He is God. Now, I invite God to walk with me; to ride in the car with me; to sit beside me while I counsel with youth. But my special time, the time I look most forward too, is Saturday mornings. For a few years now, the Lord and I have chosen Saturday mornings as our date time. On Saturday mornings, God and I open His word together and He shows me some amazing things. We pray. We sing. We laugh. We cry. And each time, this child of God feels more alive and loved as never before.
My prayer, dear reader, is that you will seek time to have an encounter with the One who made you the unique and special child that you are, and that you will feel His love and pleasure.
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1
